對的人

他會是很好的丈夫啊。
他對你很好、很愛你、肯定不會變心的。
他有為將來打算、有經濟能力啊。
他什麽都幫你想好了，不是嗎？

都是從別人口中說出來的。

誰知道，也願意聼一聼我心裏想說的？
又有誰想過，大家認定的好丈夫也不一定適合自己？

因爲他是大家心目中的《好丈夫》而決定以後的人生，撇開自己真正的幸福不說，對他公平嗎？

２００９年的開始對我來說還真是一個挑戰。
工作快開始繁忙到不行、感情世界也一片混亂。
真想從這裡消失。

對症下藥

現在發現不只傷風咳嗽時需要對症下藥。。。

對待感情也一樣，再怎麽不願意，有時候還是得love him the way he wants..
是叫做《遷就》嗎？

小時候聽説過“if he doesn't love you the way you want him to, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all his heart”

是啊，了解了，但怎麽還是感覺有點不對竟。不是不開心哦，卻又説不上真正的快樂。

找到一位愛你、又剛好是你喜歡的方式的話，多幸福！
是叫做《默契》嗎？

Train of thought

人成熟了。。。

很多東西看得越來越清楚，也很多東西變得越來越模糊。。。
對與錯之間多了《也許》、《可能》、《萬一》。
應不應該之間多了一些 《看情況》。
要不要之間多了一些 《不一定》。
有選擇未必是件好事。。。

終于有領悟到“不想長大”的意思，卻又得硬著頭皮面對。

Canon Ixus 870

I started out wanting to get Sony T300.

I ended up wih Canon Ixus 870 IS instead.

S$549 poorer, but 800 points happier!

Picture of my new toy to be uploaded soon.. hee

What is the truth?

you only see the happier side, because i did not speak of the negative.
you have the impression of consent, because i did not speak of the uncertainty.
there are so many things i want to say, that i wished you asked, that i want to be part of.
on the other hand a part of me abides the flow, convinced myself that this is what i want, what i can have at best.
there's no right or wrong, so the last thing i want is u to force an answer out of me.
going w the flow isn't that bad afterall, i guess.

Gift from Bintan

Monkey finally remembers me.. hee.

Not with you, but still..

Happy birthday to my dearest monkey!

Enjoy urself in Bintan.. next time we go together ok!

i <3 Taipei

O.M.G.

I'm so liking the weather here in taipei!!!!! and i so wanna bag all those pretty winter clothes i see everywhere!!!!! ok, not everywhere la.. only shopping places.. they are cheaper here.. now i abit regret buying my bogbog clothes in singapore!!! should've come here to buy.. all the bogbog clothes are everywhere!!! even giodarno here sells bogbog clothes!

FYI, bogbog clothes refer to:

white, black, kaki colors, bright pink yellow blue red etc, army colors.. grey.. u name it they have it!!! and all those beanies, scarves.. average price about S$10.. long winter socks about S$5.. and they are so pretty!!!!!! if i go crazy and buy them home, monkey will kill me.. so i dare not buy so many lar.. only a couple of them.. whahahahahaha.. even better than online shopping manz!

and i finally found cosmed.. prices are slightly cheaper than watsons, but if watsons have promotions, like now they do, it's actually cheaper to buy at watsons..

okieokie enough here.. i shall go prepare for my presentations tomorrow morning!

-signing off, from taipei-

It really isn't that easy

Planning to get your own flat, your life.. etc really isn't that easy.

it's not just paying registration fees to ballot for new flats, see when construction completes, assume i will be free on the day to choose the unit, blablabla.

i wish i was more involved in the discussion, if there ever was one.

have you ever considered, this is not only your life we're talking about here. it's O-U-R-S.
it's US we are talking about.

have you really really considered our life when you're doing all these? have you ever considered what i think how i feel what i want, and then see how to work everything out? somehow i think you are not going in the right direction.. thinking all the wrong things, making all the wrong assumptions.

number one. DO NOT assume i'm willing to live with you.

i suggest you speak to those married friends of yours for more 'exposure' to the issue.. the more such things happen these days, the more i'm re-thinking my direction.

tHe wiSdoM tEetH eXpeRieNcE

6 October 2008 (Monday)
1115: reach national dental centre level 3, registration, signing medisave forms, consent forms etc
1135: measured weight, blood pressure, temperature..
1145: nurse brought me to my bed, asked me to get changed, briefing by anaesthetist..
1150: briefing by Dr Lim, read some instructions, read abit of magazine while waiting for my turn..
1215: followed the nurse into the surgery lab, lied down on the table, covered with blanket, asked to put my arms on my tummy, take deep breaths from the oxygen mask, felt a warm gush through the back of my left palm where they injected the anaesthetic, one breath, two, three.. and i'm out.
1430: woke up, found myself already on my bed, everything's a blur, heard someone talk to me asking if i'm alright, closed my eyes and fell asleep.
1515: woke up, still a little groggy, realised i can't speak with the huge gauze in my mouth, slept for awhile more
1530: nurse removed the gauze, i tasted blood, had a 'lil ribena drink, throat felt sore, face felt numb.. (sore throat because they inserted a tube through my nose to my lungs to help me breathe while i'm 'sleeping')
1545: monkey came to pick me up! i got changed (still abit blur), Dr Lim checked my wounds, nursed briefed somemore, asked if i wanted to keep my teeth (i left it there)i made payment at cashier, collected medicine..
1630: home sweet home! continue to sleep off the anaethesia.

7 October 2008 (Tuesday)
faithfully on medication every 8 hours, constantly hungry, survived on magnolia milk, yeo's soya milk.. both cheeks swollen, could hardly speak.. received a call from dental centre to make sure i was alright.. wound still bleeding until the evening..

8 October 2008 (Wednesday)
continue the 8-hour cycle medication.. attempted new foods - porridge, ice cream.. tried to curb the urge to sneeze/ yawn/ cough, afraid the wounds may burst.. *yuck* right cheek more swollen than left cheek, felt feverish in the day (could be side effect).. damn painful when i tried to wash my face!

9 October 2008 (Thursday)
still on medication every 8 hours.. attempted more new foods - sponge cake.. blueblack on right side of my face starts to show.. the best thing to do was to sleep, when i'm always hungry and in pain. when i sleep, no pain, not hungry, no need to move my mouth muscles! i yawned a few times, and it felt horrible..

10 October 2008 (Friday)
feeling much much better, but still on medication.. attempted more new foods - steam egg, taukua, fish ball sliced into small small pieces.. blueblack on right side even more obvious, looks like i applied some herbal ointment on my face.. i can speak more today, but jaw gets tired really easily! i sneezed, and i freaked out.. thinking my stitches were going to snap.. i was paranoid haha..

11 October 2008 (Saturday)
medication should finish by tonight.. super bored with my diet by now.. i can't wait to much on pizza, chili crab, noodles, etc.. attempted new foods - fries(the soft ones only), kinder bueno.. i can open my mouth wider now, can see the stitches of the lower jaw.. so happy that i kept talking non-stop, until i accidentally bit on the wound.. there was a little bleeding, but it stopped quickly..

12 October 2008 (Sunday)
no longer on medication.. only the antiseptic mouthwash.. had fish porridge for lunch, kinder bueno for dessert.. mouth can open even wider than yesterday.. can also bite more firmly now.. i think i may start to engage my molars for eating?

13 October 2008 (Monday)
1615: follow up at ndc

14 October 2008 (Tuesday)
back to work..

hAppY biRthDaY~

~tO mY dEaReSt SiStEr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LoVe yA!

Interesting...

Gotta love this.. from Adrian Tan's (a litigation lawyer) speech at NTU's convocation ceremony 2008.

"...when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.... when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument..."

"...there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it..."

These are the times when i think he's...

" monkey: reaching home soon..
bee: still in office, gonna stay late late -_-"
monkey: don't be sad dear dear.. monkey loves u.. will earn more money so that u no need to work!
bee: hee, ok! haha.. "

... the one.

A new direction?

the urge to re-look at what i want in life is increasing.. 3rd year into the job.. life plans start rolling in.. new house.. marriage.. family.. etc. at this point in time i can't seem to find the balance in life. you know.. the work-life balance.. and that probably is why i want to take a step back, and look at it again..

work.. i can see myself in the industry.. i'm eager to learn.. i know it. but is it what i want? truth is, as by buddies will know, i'm not the ambitious career woman by heart.. i want to have my own family.. and maybe a small side business.. we'll see. i told myself to stay for a few years, at least until i settle down.. but i dislike that i don't have me-time NOW. which is what i need, before going into the we-time. sometimes i think maybe the 9-5 govt job will suit me just fine, but monkey thinks otherwise.. i duno, but a routine will allow more me-time right?

i'm starting to hate my work more that i like it.. and this is definitely not a spur of the moment. i've been thinking, just no time to pen it or speak of it..

i'll give it another shot. and i'll see how.

on a sidenote, i was hurt when friends say i'm boxim, for not turning up at gatherings.. it's hard to make everyone understand why i can't be there, or why i'm so occupied with work.. sometimes i wished to be irresponsible (either at or outside work)..

Finally! My Japan Trip 2008!

looking forward to 20 Dec 2008, the long-waited Japan trip.. oh man, can't wait for it to be here!
Long queue at natas fair when we reach like 1030, cant believe it.. bottle neck at the ticketing booth lar, the whole exhibition hall was hardly occupied manz.. anyhow, after a whole 15-20min wait we finally got inside, visited the booths, signed the pkg, lucky draw(not lucky lar).. and go home..

we then packed our attires, went to vivo to meet matt & sm for badminton! now my butt's aching.. it was good workout, and then good meal after the exercise..

what's after the meal? no prize for the right guess.. haha *hint: pong! gang! dasanyuan!*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NELLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this time i get it RIGHT!!!!!!

may all your dreams come true ok!

開心就好!

i want to own these... -update-

on second thoughts, i think i should prioritise the list and make some changes with my now more-sober-state-of-mind..

and then i shall work towards striking out each and (hopefully) everyone of them.

1. More money for the work i am doing (or i should look for higher paying job elsewhere) this should be on-going hee.

2. New notebook/ exercise book (for me to practice my hiragana)

3. Samsonite laptop backpack (i really can't stand the weight on either side of my shoulders)

4. A professional work pants(black), jacket (to go with pants) completed 9August2008 but i need... maybe more.. it's time to upgrade my work attire in da wardrobe

5 A pair of super comfy heels for work (to go w number 2 for my biz trips)

6. A pretty and professional laptop case (when i don't want to bring my wires & mouse)
ym & hx are going to get this for me birthday! yeah! i shall wait for hx's wishlist!

7. Relaxing, rejuvenating hair treatment and trim. completed 6August2008

8. Make up remover (click here)

9. A GOOD lasting watch. (click here)

10. A bigger wallet to keep all my cards. (the current one's overflowing) i haven't started sourcing though.

11. End of year travel itinery (for my Japan trip) completed 2August2008

12. Darkbrown size 7 boots from gojane.com (click here)

13. Gladiator sandals/ wedge (they are really versatile, can go with so many attires!)
14. Sony T-300B (click here)

15. CRonaldo's jersey for 08-09 season

16. Ralph Lauren polo-T (the one with gold threaded logo)

17. Poland Euro 2008 hp chain from jack n jill potato chips!!!

18. eng-jap and jap-eng dictionary

19. My favorite Burberry's and BBL stuff (click here "the one in the centre" and here and here)

20. New spectacles, a pair with super high index to make the lens thin thin thin (i'm too lazy for contacts. i should like start to collect whole shelf of specs to go with my outfit)

21. LV damier something. maybe wallet? i don't know. i'm gg to the voodoo-ed shop soon with mama!

22. Fujifilm Instax mini 55i (polaroid camera)

that's all for now i guess. =P this shall be my source of motivation to earn more money! humphz.

I want to own these...

i don't care whether they are wants or needs.. just let me have them!

ok, maybe it's the time of the day.. i'm like so sleepy, just finished work.. i need to rant.

1. Samsonite laptop backpack (i really can't stand the weight on either side of my shoulders)

2. A pretty and professional laptop case (when i don't want to bring my wires & mouse)

3. A pair of super comfy black working heels

4. A professional work suit (maybe more. it's time to upgrade my working wardrobe)

5. End of year travel itinery (for my Japan trip)

6. Relaxing, rejuvenating hair treatment and trim

7. New spectacles, a pair with super high index to make the lens thin thin thin (i'm too lazy for contacts. i should like start to collect whole shelf of specs to go with my outfit)

8. More money for the work i am doing

9. New notebook/ exercise book (for me to practice my hiragana)

10. CRonaldo's jersey for 08-09 season

11. Espano jacket (simply cos i like the design)

12. A GOOD, lasting watch

14. My burberry's jacket (the one i saw at T3)

15. Window shop for inspiration with mama

16. LV damier (cream) something (i love the print but haven't been to the voodoo-ed shop for a long time)

17. Ralph Lauren polo-T (the one with gold threaded logo)

18. Poland Euro 2008 hp chain from jack n jill potato chips!!!

19. TIME (like can i have >24 hrs a day so i can have some time for MYSELF???)

20. Fujifilm Instax mini 55i (polaroid camera)

21. blue label tote

i shall stop here. cos i'm dead tired.

still 10cents a day - now 60 cents more

Dear Mr Ng changed the date to 26 September 2009. No longer the special date 20092009.

well, 60-cents more then.. =P

10-cents a day

According to Mr Ng, i'm supposed to save S$1 a day until 20 September 2009. Wow as i type along, then i realise the date's pattern lei. 20-09-2009.

1 week after my birthday, wootz.

No money lei, i don't earn alot wor.

10-cents a day also can la hor?

chin chye abit ma, the self-proclaimed mr nice-guy sure okie wan bar... =P