wednesday had just passed... now thursday le... well... yesterday had been one of my worse days... the mixed emotions that purges my brain cells... not to mention the physical draining of energy...
it's been a long long time since i felt this way.. somehow i dun wish to feel so, however things jus turn out to be.. i've told not many about wat happend...
first call in the morning almost made my heart jumped right up to my mouth... grandpa fell at workplace... from his lorry... rushed down with my grandma... brain was in a blank.. cos dunno exactly wat happened... worried sick for my ah gong who's already passed 60 years and a carrier of some illness... too kancheong to go see him... forgot about my hp.. which is my like my life..esp for wednesday... i dunno why... the fear of losing one of my most precious special someone made me realise i can even forget abt my 'life'...
well, so after everything is settled... i finally get to go home to my 'life'... not that i want to leave my grand parents alone... but i need to face the consequence of forgetting my 'life'... wow... millions of missed calls and sms... rushed to pack my stuff and get on the bus to go sch for treasurer talk... called ppl to explain my absence in the morning.. it's my fault i comprehend... i deserve the reprimanding i suppose...
just that all those frustration and worry and helplessness when i couldn't contact them earlier was tough... plus the concentration needed and perhaps lack of rest as well... accumulated emotions... BOOM! that's it... hec care wat they are thinking.. i just dun haf enough energy to explain any further... go ahead and be angry... they should be... go ahead and think wateva u are thinking... i give up...
just my luck to be in this mess... whether it's to my blame or not...
great... jus when i thought things are going fine for my grandpa... a call from my grandma... he had a minor heart attack.. gotta be extra careful.. sheesh... oh manz... what haf i been doing these times? i haven eaten breakfast with him for a million donkey years... i haven talked to him about my sch, about my life now for a long time... i haven cared for him longer than what is enough... and though what happened today may be minor to some... it daunt upon me that i may one day lose him... there's so much things i want to say.. so many things i want to do with him... afterall my grandparents have been taking care of me since i was 6 mths old...
oh well... it definitely feels better after ranting... not that i can jus forget about everything... but it allows me to sort things out abit... wow... what the hec... i still no mood to explain to them... argh... or i dunno how to... wateva... bleahz... everything yesterday jus pisses me off...