愛情沒有對錯...

... 只有適不適合

再怎麽愛最終還是得放手 – 因爲真的不適合彼此

只能以朋友的身份借出耳朵聆聽、借出肩膀暫時依靠、借出時間陪伴。

再多的意見、所表示的不滿、鼓勵或揶揄都是多餘的。

當事人比誰都清楚自己的想法，也明白應該踏出的下一步，更了解怎樣做才是對自己好。

關鍵的是時間。

任何人都需要時間來適應、改變及接受一切。不是做不到，只是還沒下決心。

終究不是聖人，慢慢來吧，時間多的是，青春還長呢！

重蹈覆轍

有這樣的預感，感情將陷入呆滯階段。不是什麽新鮮事了，目前真的懶得去管。
曾溝通了，需要重復提醒的事情就缺了真心，失去了意義。

自己今年真的很爛，周年慶是記住了，卻沒準備卡片/禮物。雖説沒時間也沒找到適合的，他想要的我也付不起，但沒有就是沒有。今年突然覺得周年也就這樣也是另外一天，找不到理由要大費周章，且經濟不景還真讓我荷包‘發育不良’。

生日也一樣，不要求什麽了也就這樣過一天，多一些人一起吃飯啊、唱k啊反而更好。簡單一則sms也很溫馨，卡片都省了呢！好像是失去了- 想要讓這些日子是特別的- 的那一份心。

我需要保持距離過一些’my time’。就算是呆在家裏無所事事整個周末也很開心。很自私吧？

沉默是金

沒必要什麽事情都得追根究底，心情不好靜一靜沉澱自己的情緒，過了就沒事了。
一連串的‘為什麽’、‘做什麽’、‘怎麽會’都是火上加油。
我是這麽學著釋放時不時的不滿、也漸漸的對很多事情都看開了。
你難道就不能理解嗎？
特別是我已經事先提醒過無數次。。。

First LV (frm Mr Teoh)

The reason to be happy! hahaha.. never really thought I would be this excited to own it, but when I first laid eyes on Bloomsbury PM, I can so imagine myself carrying it everywhere I go.. I'm serious!

well, since when I start having the desire to own these branded item(s), I don't know.. but as long as they are pretty and suits me, makes me feel good, then ok lo!

random fact, i read in a webby that bloomsbury is trevi's sister, how nice! *winks at mama*

thank you mr teoh, for my first LV bag, somehow it gets harder to keep track of the gift-t0-which-occassion record.. whether it's for bday/ 5th yr/ just to make me happy.. dun matter la hor?

thank you mama, for helping us get it frm Paris!

Tarot reading

how you feel about yourself now (The Devil)

You are feeling that the temptation of a certain relationship, pastime or other form of pleasure is too hard to resist - its almost addictive. Question your motives, these sorts of situations aren’t generally good news. You may also have rather low self esteem at this time and feel that there’s not much hope for the future - don’t doubt your abilities, try to be more positive. Think carefully, you can still change direction.



what you most want at this moment (Wheel Of Fortune)

The cards suggest dabee, that what you most want at this time is a turning point in your life and positive change - well expect it now. Life will go up a gear or two and events will accelerate forward. Destiny is at play here - have you noticed a number of events that seem rather a coincidence? This is synchronicity, trust it and go with the flow.



your fears (The World)

You are afraid of taking action and lack confidence and will power, but this is a time to be positive and proactive, otherwise you will experience loss of momentum, delays and stagnation. Completion and success are only a step away, don’t give up, lose heart or change direction when you are so close to the finish line.



what is going for you (Justice)

There is a karmic power to the Justice card, reward for the good deeds you have done in the past. This is a period of good luck even if you don’t know why you are being so favoured. You will approach any issues concerning relationships or business affairs with calm, balanced logic and any claim will go in your favour.



what is going against you (The Lovers)

Are you suffering in silence in an unhappy relationship or feeling very lonely? Do you have the courage to make the decision you really know you should make? You have a great sense of duty but are you happy? A difficult decision has to be made - have courage and you will achieve emotional happiness.



outcome (The Hierophant)

Help is at hand. If you want wise counsel and moral guidance put your trust in someone you have a lot of respect for. Don’t allow others to influence you too much with what they want you to conform to, be true to yourself. When considering your options go with tried and tested traditional values, rather than the unconventional novel approach. For example marriage is more likely to be your desire than a living together situation.



Your Astrological Court Card

Queen of PentaclesAstrological Sign: VirgoElement: Earth
Personality: analytical, perfectionist, scientifically minded, objective, factual, discriminating, sometimes coldMost suitable vocations: scientist, analyst, researcher, editor, computer operator, secretary, astrologerMost suitable lover or partner: Knight of Cups - Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer



Your Personality Court Card is a Match!!

Mama Jasc’s birthday dinner w Pigumaoses + smoked V

I just had to blog about this!!! That approx. 25cm long striped lizard which fell onto dapig’s head and then jumped onto the table, and then jumped onto kel’s right torso, and then crawled to his back, and then jumped to the next table! All within 30secs, in the middle of our dinner!

Where was I? I jumped at least 1metre away from the lizard, hiding behind jasc & smoked v once I saw it on the table, trying to find its way out of the crab shells.

Where did it come from? Don’t know, prolly from the tree branch (we were sitting outside with the tree as our ‘shelter’).

Whatever, it left us pretty paranoid thereafter. Couple of us jumped at the slightest indication of maybe-another-lizard-has-fell-on-us.. when they were actually just leaves falling from the tree.

What if…

It fell onto dapig’s head and then down his neck into his back? eeeewwwwwww~

It fell directly into our crab beehoon soup? Disgusting! Dapig and jasc will prolly get the splash of soup on them, then we will see the poor lizard struggling to get out of the soup, and then fall into e butter crab gravy adjacent, and then try to get out but oh too bad too slippery, then finally drown in butter! Hah! Who ask you any-o-how fall onto our table la! Only consolation – we had finished 3-quarters of the food then.

It fell onto me instead?!?!?!?!?! Think I’ll be like a siao char bor jumping up and down trying to get it off me. If it falls too near my face I’ll prolly freak out and burst into tears (serious!)

Well, an interesting incident anyhow.. thanks mama for the great great food! =)

Next time maybe we should do something to work those calories off! Haha!

Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy your Europe trip!

太理智

也許某件事會讓自己快樂，卻因爲太理智而放棄，有過這樣的經驗嗎？

像劇中女主角因爲絕症而放棄愛情，
像爲了遵守父母意願而放棄學設計的夢想，
像需照顧弟妹而放棄出國工作的機會，
等等。

理智得知道、也清楚地明白，自己應該做的。
有些人認爲這是膽怯、尊重或責任。
也許吧，但後來想一想，不都是理智在作祟嗎？

放棄想要追求的完美
放棄想要達成的夢想
放棄想要表現的任性

縂覺得，太理智也是需要很大的勇氣，對吧？

2008 Birthday Dinner redeemed

Finally, my 2008 Birthday dinner 'voucher' redeemed!

we had dinner at Madarin Oriental's Morton's Steakhouse.

after a not-so-typical superhero movie Watchmen at Marina GV in the afternoon.

GV review gave it 1.5 popcorns, I suppose they had a simple-minded person did the review. zw thought it was not that bad. I disliked it initially, thinking why aren't the superheros like superheros you know, like spiderman batman superman, good beats evil fullstop. Then later on that evening I started giving more thoughts, and realised it really isn't that bad a movie afterall, if you comprehend the story. Killing millions to save billions, sacrificing closest friends/ family for the greater better of the world, who's to say you have sinned? Interesting twist there, though it may not be many's cup of tea..

enough about the movie. How's dinner?

FANTASTIC! I love it! Minus the breakout of pimples following e 'heaty' meal. So happy we tried a new makan place after so long! Thank you Mr Teoh! hehe..

So where are you bringing me for my birthday this year? =P

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cause someone's bound to hear my cry

Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible, Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

女人，你的名字是 愚蠢

明知道他已經不愛你
明知道他有了另一半
明知道他是花花公子
明知道他終究會離開
明知道他的心不屬於你， 不管是不想、不願、不能
卻都心甘情願。

明知道他會為你改變
明知道他會一輩子疼愛你
明知道他只衷心于你
明知道沒有再好的人了，卻仍抱一絲懷疑。

對的人

他會是很好的丈夫啊。
他對你很好、很愛你、肯定不會變心的。
他有為將來打算、有經濟能力啊。
他什麽都幫你想好了，不是嗎？

都是從別人口中說出來的。

誰知道，也願意聼一聼我心裏想說的？
又有誰想過，大家認定的好丈夫也不一定適合自己？

因爲他是大家心目中的《好丈夫》而決定以後的人生，撇開自己真正的幸福不說，對他公平嗎？

２００９年的開始對我來說還真是一個挑戰。
工作快開始繁忙到不行、感情世界也一片混亂。
真想從這裡消失。

對症下藥

現在發現不只傷風咳嗽時需要對症下藥。。。

對待感情也一樣，再怎麽不願意，有時候還是得love him the way he wants..
是叫做《遷就》嗎？

小時候聽説過“if he doesn't love you the way you want him to, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all his heart”

是啊，了解了，但怎麽還是感覺有點不對竟。不是不開心哦，卻又説不上真正的快樂。

找到一位愛你、又剛好是你喜歡的方式的話，多幸福！
是叫做《默契》嗎？

Train of thought

人成熟了。。。

很多東西看得越來越清楚，也很多東西變得越來越模糊。。。
對與錯之間多了《也許》、《可能》、《萬一》。
應不應該之間多了一些 《看情況》。
要不要之間多了一些 《不一定》。
有選擇未必是件好事。。。

終于有領悟到“不想長大”的意思，卻又得硬著頭皮面對。

Canon Ixus 870

I started out wanting to get Sony T300.

I ended up wih Canon Ixus 870 IS instead.

S$549 poorer, but 800 points happier!

Picture of my new toy to be uploaded soon.. hee

What is the truth?

you only see the happier side, because i did not speak of the negative.
you have the impression of consent, because i did not speak of the uncertainty.
there are so many things i want to say, that i wished you asked, that i want to be part of.
on the other hand a part of me abides the flow, convinced myself that this is what i want, what i can have at best.
there's no right or wrong, so the last thing i want is u to force an answer out of me.
going w the flow isn't that bad afterall, i guess.

Gift from Bintan

Monkey finally remembers me.. hee.

Not with you, but still..

Happy birthday to my dearest monkey!

Enjoy urself in Bintan.. next time we go together ok!

i <3 Taipei

O.M.G.

I'm so liking the weather here in taipei!!!!! and i so wanna bag all those pretty winter clothes i see everywhere!!!!! ok, not everywhere la.. only shopping places.. they are cheaper here.. now i abit regret buying my bogbog clothes in singapore!!! should've come here to buy.. all the bogbog clothes are everywhere!!! even giodarno here sells bogbog clothes!

FYI, bogbog clothes refer to:

white, black, kaki colors, bright pink yellow blue red etc, army colors.. grey.. u name it they have it!!! and all those beanies, scarves.. average price about S$10.. long winter socks about S$5.. and they are so pretty!!!!!! if i go crazy and buy them home, monkey will kill me.. so i dare not buy so many lar.. only a couple of them.. whahahahahaha.. even better than online shopping manz!

and i finally found cosmed.. prices are slightly cheaper than watsons, but if watsons have promotions, like now they do, it's actually cheaper to buy at watsons..

okieokie enough here.. i shall go prepare for my presentations tomorrow morning!

-signing off, from taipei-

It really isn't that easy

Planning to get your own flat, your life.. etc really isn't that easy.

it's not just paying registration fees to ballot for new flats, see when construction completes, assume i will be free on the day to choose the unit, blablabla.

i wish i was more involved in the discussion, if there ever was one.

have you ever considered, this is not only your life we're talking about here. it's O-U-R-S.
it's US we are talking about.

have you really really considered our life when you're doing all these? have you ever considered what i think how i feel what i want, and then see how to work everything out? somehow i think you are not going in the right direction.. thinking all the wrong things, making all the wrong assumptions.

number one. DO NOT assume i'm willing to live with you.

i suggest you speak to those married friends of yours for more 'exposure' to the issue.. the more such things happen these days, the more i'm re-thinking my direction.

tHe wiSdoM tEetH eXpeRieNcE

6 October 2008 (Monday)
1115: reach national dental centre level 3, registration, signing medisave forms, consent forms etc
1135: measured weight, blood pressure, temperature..
1145: nurse brought me to my bed, asked me to get changed, briefing by anaesthetist..
1150: briefing by Dr Lim, read some instructions, read abit of magazine while waiting for my turn..
1215: followed the nurse into the surgery lab, lied down on the table, covered with blanket, asked to put my arms on my tummy, take deep breaths from the oxygen mask, felt a warm gush through the back of my left palm where they injected the anaesthetic, one breath, two, three.. and i'm out.
1430: woke up, found myself already on my bed, everything's a blur, heard someone talk to me asking if i'm alright, closed my eyes and fell asleep.
1515: woke up, still a little groggy, realised i can't speak with the huge gauze in my mouth, slept for awhile more
1530: nurse removed the gauze, i tasted blood, had a 'lil ribena drink, throat felt sore, face felt numb.. (sore throat because they inserted a tube through my nose to my lungs to help me breathe while i'm 'sleeping')
1545: monkey came to pick me up! i got changed (still abit blur), Dr Lim checked my wounds, nursed briefed somemore, asked if i wanted to keep my teeth (i left it there)i made payment at cashier, collected medicine..
1630: home sweet home! continue to sleep off the anaethesia.

7 October 2008 (Tuesday)
faithfully on medication every 8 hours, constantly hungry, survived on magnolia milk, yeo's soya milk.. both cheeks swollen, could hardly speak.. received a call from dental centre to make sure i was alright.. wound still bleeding until the evening..

8 October 2008 (Wednesday)
continue the 8-hour cycle medication.. attempted new foods - porridge, ice cream.. tried to curb the urge to sneeze/ yawn/ cough, afraid the wounds may burst.. *yuck* right cheek more swollen than left cheek, felt feverish in the day (could be side effect).. damn painful when i tried to wash my face!

9 October 2008 (Thursday)
still on medication every 8 hours.. attempted more new foods - sponge cake.. blueblack on right side of my face starts to show.. the best thing to do was to sleep, when i'm always hungry and in pain. when i sleep, no pain, not hungry, no need to move my mouth muscles! i yawned a few times, and it felt horrible..

10 October 2008 (Friday)
feeling much much better, but still on medication.. attempted more new foods - steam egg, taukua, fish ball sliced into small small pieces.. blueblack on right side even more obvious, looks like i applied some herbal ointment on my face.. i can speak more today, but jaw gets tired really easily! i sneezed, and i freaked out.. thinking my stitches were going to snap.. i was paranoid haha..

11 October 2008 (Saturday)
medication should finish by tonight.. super bored with my diet by now.. i can't wait to much on pizza, chili crab, noodles, etc.. attempted new foods - fries(the soft ones only), kinder bueno.. i can open my mouth wider now, can see the stitches of the lower jaw.. so happy that i kept talking non-stop, until i accidentally bit on the wound.. there was a little bleeding, but it stopped quickly..

12 October 2008 (Sunday)
no longer on medication.. only the antiseptic mouthwash.. had fish porridge for lunch, kinder bueno for dessert.. mouth can open even wider than yesterday.. can also bite more firmly now.. i think i may start to engage my molars for eating?

13 October 2008 (Monday)
1615: follow up at ndc

14 October 2008 (Tuesday)
back to work..