Compare - To examine the character or qualities of two or more persons or things, for the purpose of discovering their resemblances or differences...

comparisons may take into considerations of discriminating factor.. it's inevitable i guess.. the infiltration of evil thoughts is apalling.. the rising demands are uninviting..

somehow knowledge instigates unethical thoughts or even practices.. only subtle words appear in the theories.. actions speak louder than words but not of the words unfortunately..

there are no friends forever, only common interests for a long term, a friend quoted.. something that caught my attention.. a fact in many aspects most do not want to admit but subconsciously or eventually adopt..

a friend once told me his uni friends change.. i used to detest the changes but on second thoughts, the only thing that is constant is change.. the question thing is why are the changes showing uglier faces.. i hope he's getting on fine in uni now..

of course this is not an absolute case.. and i do hope i'll not become a cold-blooded animal to maximise the benefits of my existence.. actually, i'm sure i won't.. but then again, will i? tell me about contradiction..

an avenue to vent my frustrations..
a prevention from intellectual death of thought provoking clots up my veins..
an escape from struggling debate..
a sudden urge to rectify persisting cynicism..

a repeated course more common lately..

i'm stressed.. exams? nope.. not yet..
i think too much.. living? consolation of functioning brain at least to me..

i think i'm in the 'end-of-sem' crisis.. i dunno if this is stress or wat.. i don't think so.. i dunno la.. argh.. i feel sort of lost..

not depressed.. i'm happie.. maybe not contented? i like to study.. but not mug for exams.. i dun like the feeling of not doing well after i mug for it.. maybe that's y i dun really bother to mug? i'm happie as long as i dun fail.. sounds so mei2 zhi4 qi4 hor.. aiya.. i hate being competitive in results la.. makes studying so dull and uninteresting..
but then come to think of it i'm competitive in presentations.. er.. some presentations.. shite.. i oso dunno wat rubbish i'm saying here.. rant rant and rant..

exams are coming.. presentations are coming.. and i'm still here slacking.. thinking abt all the things i'm gonna do after exams.. can't stand myself.. i noe.. should start mugging le rite? see my point.. i'm okie with not sleeping and not eating for my presentations.. but how silly? stubborn bee jus refuses to settle down to mug.. *PUI~!*

kind of quite scary when i think of having a routine life.. as in u noe.. wake up, work, go home, housework, sleep then wake up, work... weekends for rest and leisure.. come to think of it i'm uncertain if i want this kind of life.. but then again i dun really have much choice? erm.. or do i? if i'm saying this then i should do wat i want to make my life not so routine and boring rite? argh... *scratch head*

damn.. i haven feel this way for a long time.. i wonder why.. i dun like my parents but i can't walk out on them.. i dun like my home but i just have to live in it.. damn, i should have listened to my uncle and move to hostel last year.. haha.. or listen to my aunt and move in with her..*diaoonz* haiz but everything happens for a reason i guess? *shrugs*

anyhow.. i jus found out something new about myself.. this morning i woke up feeling lost so i decided to try cooking something i haven really tried before.. guess what? i enjoyed it so much i forgot about time and ended up late for lecture! haha and poor thing he has to be my guinea pig haha.. i really enjoy experimenting in the kitchen.. kind of allow me to forget about my insecurities, worries blabla.. u noe.. the process of mix and match.. tasting.. anticipating the results.. fail then try again next time.. sucessful then work on it to improve.. if only i can bring this to reality? aiyoyo..

going all cranky and stuff.. i'm missing him so much it scares me.. i'm afraid i'm not good enough.. he'll say i'm silly, siao, 'sot'.. wateva.. i still wan to say.. i'm selfish.. i want him with me.. can never have enough.. it's amazing time flashes by.. i'm going mad.. sometimes i wanna cry i can't believe myself.. i amuse myself when i start whining.. but it's normal according to him.. erm.. and of cos i dun wan to lose my friends.. i'm not 'heavy color light friend'..

should stop all these.. it's not healthy.. and i'm getting fat.. shite..

i thought ms tut today was pretty interesting.. i didn't fall asleep during it!

let's play a game..
there's 3 doors, behind 1 of it there's a car and the 2 two a goat..
you can choose one 1 after which i'll open 1 of the remaining 2 doors to reveal 1 goat..
you can then make a choice of staying with your choice or switching to the other closed door..
what decision will you make?

this is actually an IQ qn.. and it's better to switch your choice of door.. reson being the probability of getting the car if you swtich your choice is twice the probability of winning should you stick to your first choice..

interesting huh? and the logic? i'm convinced.. so if i have a chance to be in this scenario mayb i'll switch my choice~! *keke*

so this is it that kept me from sleeping this afternoon!

anyhow.. had my mm-airpork case presentation this morning.. dragged myself out of bed 630am.. reached sch at 8am to rehearse..
well, it paid off..
prof says our presentation is interesting and he likes it..
the class participated.. they all ate the breaded pork chop yh's mum prepared..
prof finished the remaining pork chops!
andrew asks for a copy of our slides(my baby~!) cos he says it's nice..
ha, that's abt all.. can't stop being so high though i'm actually dead beat..

now.. the hell weeks jus started.. 1 paper 2 project reports 3 presentations..
2 presenattions on the same day one after another in week 12.. *oh man*
wish me luck..

i'm so looking forward to after exams.. i want more than a million weeks!!! much much much much more... *hee*

the next time i decide to attend my js lecture.. i shall think twice.. think 3 times 4 times 5 times.. cos it's darn boring.. i can get everything from the slides and readings..so no point attending rite? *nods head*

anyhow lecture was about departmental stores and food marketing in japan.. abit about the gift-giving culture of the japs.. there's this example abt a woman choosing to buy a very famous brand of cookies from a well known place instead of baking them herself for her teacher during the last lesson.. reason being buying something well known by all is a way of showing respect for the teacher, how much one value the relationship.. the gift-giving thingy must also be known by third parties..

oh well, jus when i thought gift-giving is all about 'it's the thought that counts'.. i'm like totally wrong in the japanese context..

then there's another example about valentine's gift.. females are OBLIGED to give giri chocolates to their bosses, male friends and collegues as a way of saying thanks and honto chocolates to their loved ones.. the males can then DECIDE whether or not to repay the gift one month later on white day(13mar)..

obviously there's some japanese culture i refuse to acknowledge.. maybe im stubborn but what the hell.. obliged to give presents? i dun like that..

and there's another thing about repaying the gift of something on par in terms of quality (which usually means price too) or better.. well, if i'm rich i'll have absolutely no qualms about this but i'm not fortunately or unfortunately..

which brings me to another point.

i like to receive gifts from people (i think most of us do?).. i'll feel bad if i can't give the person something of around the same value what i receive from him or her.. this is not the same as repaying gifts in jap context.. simply cos they repay the gift all during the same occassion which i don't..
for example A gives me $1000 watch as a birthday present.. i'll feel bad if i know i can't give A something of that value on A's birthday.. as such i'd rather not receive anything from A..
tho i don't have the mentality that when i give someone and expensive gift, i expect the same from the person, inevitably i'll feel inferior.. ego at work? i dunno.. i'll jus feel weird.. i'll sometimes even feel stress, esp when that person is someone important to me..
maybe that's why i always like things to be simple.. happiness from simplicity..

darn.. blabber so much withing such a short time.. if only i can type this way for my OM report.. *urgh*

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face
And I've never been this swept away
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear is the beating of your heart

Cause I can feel you breathe
Just watching over me
And suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
Slow and steady rush
Baby isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe

In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
Closer than I've ever felt before
And I know, and you know
There's no need for words right now

Breathe - Faith Hill