did i do A because of 1, 2 or 3?
did i do B because of 1, 2 or 3?
will i stick with A regardless of 1, 2 or 3?
i think i did B cos of 1, 1 and 1 again..

stay away cos i'll bite..
i'll bite when i'm bitchy..
i get bitchy esp when i'm tired..
i get tired when i'm upset..
i get upset when i'm hurt..
i get hurt more easily when i care..
i care when it's you..
you dun deserve this cos it was unintentional..

is it the things done or was it those not done?
is it the content or was it the lack of it?
is it the foresight or was it the myopic state?
is it a chance or did i took it for granted?
was it a game i played into reality?
is this gg to be a viscious cycle?

ms mid term's over.. *phew* nothing much to tok abt.. just unsure..

mm mid term's coming!! *screams*
10 bloody long chapters to study for 50 mcq qns with 5 options tt takes up 25% of my grade.. how 'nice' is it? okie i noe.. so boring to see an entry with nothing but complaints.. for goodness sake i'm studying on a saturday when i'm supposed to be slacking watching tv or out having fun.. okie i noe.. it's only this weekend rite.. i'll be happier monday.. for awhile before other work comes.. *sulk*

and i feel so silly.. it's not as if i won't have the company anymore.. i just dunno what got into me to feel so sad i felt like crying.. which eventually ended up me tearing for a minute or so.. *smack my head*

i think my astigmatism is back to haunt me after so many years.. left eye got double vison.. can't read properly.. feel like gorging my eye out.. mayb i'll be better off dead. gotta go see optician for a new pair of specs soon.. before i go blind reading my notes and textbooks.. *blink blink*

nerd? maybe i'm becoming one.. under influence.. but then again.. i dun think i'll be one.. i mean i wanna go out and meet my friends.. spend time and talk to them.. talk about things other than studies.. i still sleep alot.. read magazines and jus slack.. okie.. considering me studying for test so last minute.. i think i'm not.. *woohoo* somehow diligence to a nerdy extent is so not me.. *grinz* which brings me to the point.. i'm here blogging my way when i still have 5 chapters to read.. *shrugs*

i'm not in a good mood today i guess.. my sis piss me off the moment i got home.. father wanna borrow money from me when i barely have enough for myself.. what the hell.. here bitching abt my father sounds so bad? tell me abt it.. *buay tahan* want to vomit blood scolding my sis and trying to make my father discipline her.. dun let her go out tis weekend.. guess what? she went out when i came home.. her exams coming so soon.. next fri.. still dun wan to settle down to revise her work.. really wan to give her up le.. *faint*

finally had my lambo after soooooooo long.. nope, i'm not alcoholic.. jus missed my flaming lambo.. missed it so long even bartender michael dun recognize me.. (or is it cos i cut my hair le?) anyhow i was abit disappointed cos duno why yest so on form.. tequilla pops n shot, long island, screw driver, lambo, slippery nipple, apple sugar and i was barely there.. hmmm.. nevertheless, quite interesting cos get to try some drinks tt are new to me.. din meet many ppl.. only sim n vignesh.. as much as i dun wish too haiz..

really got to eat grass le.. burnt a hole in his pocket.. oops.. dun feel good.. dun feel good tt he dun feel good too.. haiz.. it's not complicated.. very simple logic..
he happy = me happy
okie enough of my nonsense.. i'm tired..

Virgo Woman

She will be similar to Leo woman in appearance. A slim woman who walks with
confident and proud. She likes to look straight as if she is searching. She is not a pretentious type and will always say what she thinks.

You will see Virgo woman walks fast. She will try her best to be perfect, to look perfect and to feel perfect even though there is no such perfection. She is very delicate of what and how she dress. She is bright and easily despair with obstacles. She likes smart guys who will be compatible with her, so if you are a rich dumb guy, you can forget about her right now.

She is not a very possessive or jealous person for she expect respect from her loved one. She does not like a part time lover, or a temporary mate. If she finds her dream man, she will not go away. If she does not like you, she will always keep a certain distant. Act proper and appropriate is her discipline.

She does not like and can not stand bad languages, cursing words or phrase. She likes a gentleman who open the doors for her. She wants to feel protected and when a man is taking care of her, she will feel like a complete woman.

She memorizes everything about other people and about herself very well. She can really keep secrets, you can trust her on this. She likes a refreshing and a mild scent. Do not comment on her very picky habits, it's her happiness in
working full time as a self beautifier.

She is not an innocent angel for sometimes she can be as tough as steel. Even she is easily in despair, she is not the type to cry over it. She is the shy type, so making speech in front of the room can make her nervous even though she walks and talks confidently.

She only search for true love , not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angel again . If you have a date with her , you'd better be there on time.

Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry , make it
brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up events, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money. Do not make her think that she is a clown or funny.

In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it could not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too.

Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can.

sth i received from my friend through email..

what a weekend..

fri
belated bday dinner at amk ave 3.. the crab beehoon's yummilicious!!!!!!!!! i actually ate crab without getting my hands oily and dirty and stuff.. *haha* courtesy of my so-long-nv-contact friend.. such a nice gesture to get the crab meat out of the shells, put on the plate for me.. *thanks* even opened my can of green tea, carried my textbook for me.. though made me feel abit like a child.. i like it anyway *hur*

sat
bbq at wanhui's condo was good.. 15 of us (benjamin sheldon junming jeffrey yulun daoxing kaili valerie faith siva shuhui inez jinglin wanhui me).. the last time we had a gathering of more than 10 ppl was like 2 years ago.. so this one's considered successful.. it was really nice catching up with them.. gossiping, teasing one another, recollecting our jc memories.. we even set our next 'major' gathering this december.. steamboat @ yulun's.. hehz.. hopefully it won't be postponed till further notice wor..
stayover at jing's.. watched 13 gg on 30 and butterfly effect on dvd.. my my.. she's got one helluva dvd collection! too bad i dun have dvd player.. *keke* butterfly effect's a good movie.. makes me think.. i like movies that makes me think..

today
having slept for barely 2 hrs this morning after movie marathon.. it's time for me to recuperate from my beauty sleep!!!!!!! *yipeeee*
currently down with eye infection since last thursday.. eyes infection in fact.. some bacteria named GPC in short that makes the underside of my eyelids rough.. so when i blink.. the rough surface irritates my cornea.. and tadah! eye infection.. severe consequence : blindness caused when cornea wears off due to friction with rough surface.. no more contact lens for at least 1-2 months.. use prescribed eyedrop regularly 3 times a day.. until bacteria's fully gotten rid of..
ugly me in specs just like during rag days.. *argh*
i know i know i should've took better care of my eyes and contact lens.. i know all these.. the last thing i need is a lecture that i should've do this and that to my contact lens and eyes..

gosh i'm TWENTY.. no longer a teenager..
i feel old.. haha..

anyhow.. am glad to receive birthday wishes from many.. my junior actually wrote a card for me.. *touched*

i think this year's kind of special.. cos u see i got pre, present and post bday gifts from you.. haha.. the jacket, the cake and dinner and the card.. the surprise was really sweet i thought.. u noe i dun mean it when i said it was silly .. can't believe i din get the hint from kelvin.. but then again it'll be no fun if i got it.. *smilez* (argh, i cant use the same trick on u liaoz)
well, i'm really happy.. to spend this day with you.. even if there's no present no cake no dinner no card.. i'll be as glad to be with you.. my, can't stand myself so *eeeeeeeeeeeyer* haha.. but i mean every word.. *soooompaa*

it's amazing how time flies when we go out..

when can i have enough of your company?

perhaps never..

HaPpiE biRtHdAy tO mEi mEi! hAhA.. mUs jiAyOu iN uR sTudiEs wOR.. eNjOy uR tiMe wiTH uR fRieNds! *muackz* LovE yA~!

the notification came as a surprise.. so much so i decided to leave lalaland much earlier than usual.. a few weeks ago i was an undergrad, she just stepped into the society contented with her job.. today, i am still and undergrad(a happier one) and she's ready to be his wife and their child's mother..

of course i couldn't and wouldn't refuse to be her bridesmaid upon request.. it was a verbal contract since we were old enough to know what getting married is all about. i surely do not wish to breach this one.. *keke* we used to dream about holding our wedding together.. seems like she has to go ahead yep.. the preparation work is *wow* i can't describe.. but i know from now til her wedding i'll be busy..

in a way i feel envious though i think i'm not the kind of person who want to settle down at age 20.. it was more of the happiness i sense in her during our short conversation.. she was apprehensive about everything.. but from the moment he expressed his joy of the news of their child.. she was sure everything will be fine.. there's bound to be difficulties but the fact that they are willing to work towards their goal is so sweet.. how many people can actually do that?

she has definitely matured alot alot more than me.. plus the fact that it's always a dream of mine to settle down with a family (cos somehow i feel life will not be complete without one).. i'm truly happy for them..

most of the times we do not do the things that we like... this is quoted from a friend, and i so agree with it..
do i have a choice? perhaps when i hit the spiritual level (which i doubt i will) nothing is impossible.. to see it from this day right now.. NO.
alot, in fact most of the things i do are by default i have to, i need to.. well, i want to. but doesn't mean i like to.. just stating some facts of life (my life) here.. but of course at times magnification of doing the things i like can conceal the frustration of the alternatives..

on a lighter note.. i'm a happy girl today! haha.. cos it's 9 september.. *baaaaa*
hurm.. i should say it's more like a mixture of feelings.. some of which i may not even comprehend. i feel abit xin1 tong4 but i can't jus wipe the smile out of my face.. not everyone should conform to the 'giving' spirit of the japanese but there's no doubt teeny weeny bit of guilt exists.. i've never seen my 'pursuing' list depleting at this rate before.. probably i'm not used to it..
well i'm still happy.. i think he is too.. and it's good enough for now i guess? *shrugs*

a question she has no answer to.. to her perception it was not in the single bit a brilliant answer.. it's not an answer in the first place.
or so she thinks.
she doesn't eliminate the possibility of eliciting and magnifying on the tone of sarcasm.. but this is how she feels.. so does she need to care about how other ppl think? care abt what you think? yeah, there's no point.. but she doesn't like sour endings either..
obviously she's not as innocent and simple-minded as what some may see.. the complexity can be disclosed by choice.. and only by choice alone.. there isn't a need to test her patience or in other words 'skill of acting-blur'..
she likes to know more people.. she enjoys friends' company.. she just does not want another mess up in her life right now (like she does not have enough already)..

a simple dress.. a simple journey to pan pac.. a simple dinner.. a simple routine of photo-taking.. and a HUGE ktv room to accomodate 11 crazy ppl til 4am in the morning..

bizad ball was alright.. food's not fantastic.. neither does it suck.. never really pay attention to the paegent tt's gg on (i know it's kinda rude).. the thought of gg home after the dinner was abit of a turn off.. glad that bel and gang decided to jio ppl to paradiz kbox.. it was fun for me.. haha.. cos i haven't been singing for donkey years!!!!! heck care the tons of research work and the project discussion next morning.. i enjoyed myself alot.. *woohoo* though it means less sleep and most importantly a 'hole in my pocket'.. i'm so gg to ktv soon soon.. *heh*

meanwhile the craving for lamboghini is getting stronger.. 2 weeks countdown to my mambo!! *grinz*

a pair of old shoes i had.
they walked part of my journey..
a comfortable pair.. very comfortable..
unfortunately i know they're not lasting.

the new pair of sandals that caught my eyes.
suitable for me and appears to be durable..
able to walk much of my journey..
but i'll never know til i consume them.

the old pair sits in my cupboard i realise today.
wanted to throw them down the chute..
changed my mind and wrapped them up with a plastic bag instead..
they stil sit in my cupboard..
i opt to forget about their existence..
the question is can i do it?