A new direction?

the urge to re-look at what i want in life is increasing.. 3rd year into the job.. life plans start rolling in.. new house.. marriage.. family.. etc. at this point in time i can't seem to find the balance in life. you know.. the work-life balance.. and that probably is why i want to take a step back, and look at it again..

work.. i can see myself in the industry.. i'm eager to learn.. i know it. but is it what i want? truth is, as by buddies will know, i'm not the ambitious career woman by heart.. i want to have my own family.. and maybe a small side business.. we'll see. i told myself to stay for a few years, at least until i settle down.. but i dislike that i don't have me-time NOW. which is what i need, before going into the we-time. sometimes i think maybe the 9-5 govt job will suit me just fine, but monkey thinks otherwise.. i duno, but a routine will allow more me-time right?

i'm starting to hate my work more that i like it.. and this is definitely not a spur of the moment. i've been thinking, just no time to pen it or speak of it..

i'll give it another shot. and i'll see how.

on a sidenote, i was hurt when friends say i'm boxim, for not turning up at gatherings.. it's hard to make everyone understand why i can't be there, or why i'm so occupied with work.. sometimes i wished to be irresponsible (either at or outside work)..