only one out of my five papers down.. and i can't wait to go mambo with da gang on 4 may.. i dislike exams.. cramming all the stuff into my head and then go to the exam hall throw everything out.. alright, some stress on application.. putting theories into use in situations.. whatever.. 2 hours of testing justifies whether you are good with something.. this is bullshit.. then after this big hoohaa over grading and CAP score, you can almost forget what you learnt totally..

damn.. i've got much thoughts a moment ago.. now i'm suffering from literacy constipation.. now let me try.. most prob it's going to be random.. i vacuumed and mopped the floor again.. dunno why.. something i'll do during reading week each semester without fail.. either pack my wardrobe, scrub toilet, reorganize stuff, wash things, do housework.. a form of relieving stress? i guess so. my sister told me to get stressed more often so she can steer clear of sharing housework.. i almost strangled her.

a few days back i was with my sis at jurong point.. on our way back she asked if i like babies.. i nod my head.. memories of bathing my sis, feeding her, bringing her out, carrying her, playing with her, teaching her came back.. nevertheless scenes of quarrels, having to change her diapers, toilet train her, scolding her for 'coloring' my assignments were as vivid.. so i told her maybe i don't like babies that much.. she said she couldn't stand babies, if she were to take care of one, that baby would most probably suffer.. i laughed and said our mum should have another child and let her go through what i've gone through.. i never dislike any bit of it.. (erm, maybe only the part when my front teeth was slapped out of my mouth when my mum had post natal depression).. it was one hell of an experience taking care of a baby.. especially when there's no maid and both parents were working.. i learned alot.. perhaps she helped me become what i am today? i dunno.. i think i like babies.. i want to become a mother.. too early to say? maybe.. but this thought has been with me for long..

and you know the thing is when you think about children you start to link it to family, marriage, future, money, blablabla.. etc.. dream big dreams.. someone says.. but i guess i'm not like that.. unless being idealistic to have a simple family means dreaming big.. it's nice to be rich and important.. but i guess it's important to be nice too.. to be contented and HAPPY.. take things as it comes you may think.. that's the only choice i have i thought.. will my ideals be influenced and changed? or will they be the souce of differing paths eventually? the answer is.. too early to say!

now.. i need to be resting and look forward to aftrer exams!!! mAmBo~~~~~~~