for goodness sake...

the previous entry was not directed at one person.. perhaps becos of jasc's tag, you thought i was freakin scolding you.. any decent fren could either wonder who or what the hell i was talking abt.. or they knew i was not pinpointing at any single human being called my fren..

thanks for your messages to remind me that you were not the villian.. comon, it's so unconvincing.. the moment you said this i was so disappointed.. so this was what you called understanding.. of cos i knew you were not the gniao one.. this is not an issue abt gniao-ness alrite..

anyway what i said was true and what i msged you was true.. if to you it was unconvincing then what, should i go jump down from a building to prove it? anyhow.. if you didn't feel you were the boxim and whatever you-think-i-said-was-abt-you, why did you have to flare up? now who is the one who wanted to end the frenship? and who did you think you were to end it as and when you like it? i said i didn't want to do that. now who is the one running away? you confront ppl then can.. when ppl confront you, you run away (i sms u no reply, call u no answer).. how responsible is that?

i cannot tolerate you not wanting to know about anything since it's over.. excuse me mister, it's not over. i cannot tahan when u think it's her fault and then it's over.. jasc knew what i was refering to when i mentioned you-think-so-disposable-and-reusable, it's not even about you okie?

why was it that when she sms both you and him to ask to share, you both replied 'okie' and then he could transfer within the day and you over such a long period of time? you told me u didn't know.. so who was the one who smsed her 'okie'? did you mean she lied?

that aside.. even if she said not sharing.. then what hv you done? he could even send a simple sms and ask what i wanted.. what did you do? even if not abt last year.. for the past years.. what have you done? who were the ones who tried to cheer you up and surprise you and walked all over the place to get you something you wanted?

this is not about the 2 of us only, whether you are the disposable boyfren to me or i'm the disposable one for you when u needed someone.. it's abt the 4 of us.. even if you had your reasons (which i believed and understood) for MIA, what happened when you 'reappear'?

you don't say it seemed like we wanted to end the frenship when you don't even understand our frenship.. it requires effort to maintain this bond and if you are not putting in the effort, who then is the one who seems like wanting to end it?

one more thing.. we are like 22yrs old? how mature are we to talk abt i-dun-wanna-be-your-fren anymore over such issues? i was bewildered, then angry, then disappointed, then upset, and then calmed down to decide alrite, it's not such a serious matter to blacklist you on my 'useless fren list' (not that i have one la).. it's a misunderstanding and it needs to be cleared, and then life goes on..

which brings me back to the fact that i can't even find you to clear this misunderstanding.

and this is so sad isn't it..

tell me, did i make a mistake in posting the previous entry?