I've had my share of life's ups and downs,
but fates been kind the downs have been few..
I guess you could say I've been lucky,
Or I guess you could say that it's all because of you..
If anyone, should ever write my life story,
for whatever reason there might be,
you'd be there between each line of pain and glory,
cos your the best thing that ever happened to me..


Cocktail

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
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my my, can't believe i haven been online for so long my tag-board's 'out of order'.. keke
well, rag camp's finally over! what can i say? bizad's the best.. winning all 9 shields for faculty and clubs category.. visit the link for rag photos! www.bschool.nus.edu.sg/gallery/Rag04
guess we were all so ecstatic yet relieved.. and i do miss those tiring days making our plague and 2 totem poles, sleeping in the hss audi, bathing at src toilets.. it's a really good bonding session with seniors and juniors.. have been listening to gossips.. some of ppl i don even know of hur~ ah yes.. of cos i do miss the times i get 'high' over little little things hee.. the initial disappointment proves to be superfluous.. and i'm a happy person! i really cant put how i feel in words.. perhaps a bit of varying emotions here and there.. really glad, worried oso.. i may appear nonchalant, who knows the little worm's scampering within me eh.. nevertheless life goes on and hopefully thigs wil go on fine.. *smilez* thanks for entering my life and making each day a happy one with infinite care, concern blablabla.. *winkz*

so looking forward to meet up with the gals! haven seen them in ages! haven seen many ppl in ages la.. so sorry ppl.. stuck in rag camp mar.. now tt sch term start le.. i'll try okie! die die oso must meet u all! esp ny babes, pigumaoses.. ah bing! and yes.. 86 pals.. dinner some time eh? rite.. i should be on my way to meet jasc le.. o_0

Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry, Y
ou don't know how lovely you are.
 
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.
 
Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh, let's go back to the start.
 
Runnin' in circles,
Comin' up tails,
Its only science apart.
 
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh, take me back to the start.
 
I was just guessing,
At numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
 
Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.
 
Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start.
 
Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' tails,
Comin' back as we are.
 
Nobody said it was easy,
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.
 
it's been a rather interesting week for me at rag site.. taking lorry to ke7 to bathe.. sneaking into sheares and kr halls to shower.. getting cuts and blue blacks all overmt arms and legs.. macheing 0.5 * 0.5 mm pieces of paper with satay sticks.. talking and gossiping non stop abt everyone and anyone.. playing cards and fortune telling games.. chatting when we cant get to slp.. eating and eating and eating so getting fat.. becoming high with the slightest things.. i'm in lurve with our plague.. i hope everything turns out fine *cross fingers* it's only the first week.. more to come bar.. brain cant function well now actually.. but i'm sure i'm happy for now.. *smilez* cos i got a nice white cap from fren.. listening to the nice nice song from the nice nice cd borrowed from nice nice fren at the moment..
 
okie.. time to sleep..
 

it's a damn blardi gossipy place.. you better watch who you are messing with before ASSUMING who the heck it is or what the heck it is and spread like nobody's fucking business.. i don care, can't care anymore aint it.. but this is MY blog.. like i mentioned i can't even stand being judged by my closest buddies.. so all the more i despise ppl who don't know me well enough to judge me.. don't come and tell me ask me interrogate me or whatsoever.. alright... maybe judge is too strong a word but in my state of mind i can't locate a better word in my thesaurus.. obviously i don't wish anything bad to happen from now on.. *cross fingers*

i'm tired.. so tired.. dying mayb.. physical stress? nope.. more like mentally.. cos of rag? nope.. rag's stil fine for me..

few seconds ago i received an sms..
i wished it was from you, obviously it isn't. tell me i'm asking for too much once again. tell me there's no obligation. tell me words are cheap so it's of no significance whatsoeva.

minutes passed i'm taking my time to pack my stuff..
the worst has yet to come i believe. tons of work waiting to be completed. tell me i'm not jaded. tell me it's not gg to be as bad as it seems. i just can't stop being pessimistic. help!

almost 24 hours not even a note of concern expressed..
is this care of no importance? tell me you are too busy to peek at ur phone. tell me your phone's run out of batt. bloody come up with more excuses. be a monkey and do silly stuff. they're so not funny even a teeny weeny bit.

not even a week is gone, i'm already missing those laughter..
the surprise is as amusing to me as to anyone else. i'll take my time to forget about it. cos i just cant think the right way. kept feeling i don't deserve anything or anyone good. tell me i'm an idiot. tell me i'm paranoid. i should take it easy right?

i can't, at least for the moment. cos i'm blardi hell being a bitch ranting and cursing and swearing and whining and complaining.

school is starting soon. damn it. my room's in a mess. shite. my thoughts just won't take a break and stop running. what the hell. i'm falling into emotinal quicksand not seeking help. tmd..

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say, let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out 'Heaven save me'
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say, let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinkin
Maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me,
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding on to what I think is safe

~~one last breath `creed`~~

a m s o t i r e d f r o m r a g b a s h y e s t e r d a y . d r i n k s m a d e m e s o f u l l i p u k e d . p u k e d n o t b e c o s i ' m d r u n k . d a m n k o k z . r e a c h e d h o m e i n d a m o r n i n g 3 p l u s . s l e p t a t 5 3 0 a m . j u s t w o k e u p m o m e n t s a g o . w a n n a f i n d p p l t o h a f d i n n e r w i t h m e b u t v e r y l a z y t o g o o u t t o o * c o n t r a d i c t i o n * i ' m s o g g t o n u a a t h o m e m a n .

damn. not much time to nua le.. rag camp is coming!! argh..

portugal portugal portugal... portugal must win.. *prays hard*

ktv on 30june at cine kbox w kel yh del yy kaweng huiying wendy angeline zw was bersek.. as usual yh and me went crazy over jolin stef fish she sammi songs.. had fun of course.. realised sth new today.. i actually noe so many songs leh! u noe there are some songs i'll never find on purpose from the list.. only when the rest found them i realise eh, so familiar! i noe how to sing leh! kind of reaction harhar.. it was fun lar.. teasing ppl, rapping, singing or screaming shouting wateva.. hee..

then dinner at emerald foodcourt was simple but nice.. some ppl left, some ppl joined us.. i wasn't hungry.. so shared dumpling noodle w edmund.. crap along.. suan ppl kena suaned.. then met the rest for mambo! i've never gone to zouk at such an early time.. before 10pm.. we got the chop then went to kopitiam to sit and talk crap.. finally around 1045 we went in.. the whole lot of us when we went crazy partying at the dancefloor includes me coreen yy del weiherng yh kel edmund wendy val steve adel zw weisherng bel grace diana don and blabla i cant rem all of them.. it was a helluva time tho i kena a quite-an-impact kokz on my head.. heng jason mel came tok to me when i was stil okie if not i dunno wat rubbish i'll tell them when i become high.. which was after my lambo i guess.. thanks for da drinks from zw kel ws and (did i miss out anyone?) so paiseh from the numerous 'are u okie how's ur head?'.. hee.. but thanks anyway.. haven go partying with so many ppl and it sure was fun! trying to follow da mambo actions.. jumping abt to the beat of da songs.. making stupid faces at xiao mao where he did the same.. shall go for another one soon soon okie!! ktv oso! hee..

my dear fren.. i noe u noe i don mean it whenever i scold u suan u tease u hit u watnotz.. sure we're pals and obviously i don feel good to see u feel so down recently because of her.. but then again i have no right to forbid ur thoughts and feelings and actions.. tho i stil hope to cya tis sat.. tmr i mean.. then again.. she may well be the only one in ur eyes at the moment.. haven seen u like tt before and trust u to be rational enough eh.. take care wor.. enjoy ur date.. hee

sorrie lar.. i noe u ord le saw ur sms but my hp's giving me alot of probs so dun blame me for not replying okie? i may go get a new hp soon soon.. cos i cant stand the sometimes-not-working keypad of my present hp.. so yep.. if ya gg for the foc.. enjoy urself ya.. *winkz*

jus back from supper with jasc n victor..

swollen left big toe all thanks to daniar gongz gongz open the door into me at far east burger king.. stupid melvin still laugh at me..
now how to go mambo with my big fat toe? *mumbles frustration*
must let my fat toe heal! *rubs the big blue black on big fat toe*

rag meeting later at 10am.. jialat.. panda revives later.. now concuss *ZzzZZzzz*

it's almost impossible for me to have enough of ignite foc 2004.. the group of ppl i work with as the main com.. (delvin yingyin kelvin yonghui kaweng angeline huiying yap meow coreen adel grace edmund zengwee mark shirlin irza gerald christine wendy) they're the best grp i've worked with so far.. definitely treasured the times spent together.. i have to agree with them that if there's such an award as best main com we'll win it hands down! as much as we were tired from the camp, we enjoyed it.. i enjoyed the camp so much i wished foc was longer! well, except for the missing my bed at home and sleeping part la.. hee.. certainly hope the frenship don jus stop here with foc.. so glad to haf new shopping bitching ktv mambo kakis! woohoo.. and of cos i won leave buggy out of da gang! *winkz*

210604 - day zero
being da mountain turtle whom haven stayed in hostel before.. it was pretty exciting to have da chance to have a room in kent ridge hall to myself for 5 days 4 nights.. tho i don spend much time in it since there's hardly enought time to slp.. *keke* i still felt good abt it! muahahahaha.. the hr i checked into kr.. i unpacked all my belongings into the cupboard and drawers... hee.. left my empty bag in one of da shelves! cheap thrill la.. but i like it anyway! then started checking out who're my neighbours! grace's to my left and huiying's to my right.. yh & angeline opp me! 1st day nothing much.. packing goodie bags, updating namelist, touching up fright night route.. dinner.. and then otot.. me and yh decorated the gals names on half a4 paper to pin outside their rooms! nicey.. haha.. not very shou2 with da gang yet so din join their mahjong euro supper wateva.. haha.. went to wendy's room gossip abit w yonghui yap christine wendy kaweng instead.. hee.. i think i slept about 1plus am if my memory din fail me.. counted money i haf with me before i concussed.. count til i so blur.. got about 5k with me then.. *wow*

220604 - ignite day 1
woke up at 630am w/o problem.. had breakfast and reached hss auditorium by 745 in main com polo tee.. waiting for councillors and freshmen to arrive.. took main com photoS! some stupid ppl last minute pull out.. some last minute join in.. really pissed me off.. caused trouble for yh and huiying..cos of sp nite arrangements.. haiyoweiar.. mingled abit with my og nitrar.. set off for campus hunt at 10am! lunch at src pool sucks... when i open the pack.. only see yellow and white color.. see liao oso sianz.. how to eat? *argh* the rice with daogay and fish and i forgot wat puts me off.. anyway the afternoon pool games was alrite.. quite fun.. took pictures as well! heeee.. the highlight of day day was fright nite and slide!!! thou abit rush.. hee.. took pictures in my horrendous makeup.. still waiting for them to b sent to me!! a pity the lift broke down.. but not bad lar.. managed to scare even main com members with my make up and hair and red clothing.. hee.. i guess the touch up by huangzhen was good! by the end of scaring ppl cum feeding mosquitoes session.. i had a real hard time getting the mascara on eyelids and lipstick on face off!! had a simple but nice supper at rag side thanks to robin da zhu tou! concussed at 3plus am after shower..

230604 - sentosa day2
struggled to wake up at 630am.. mistook the alarm for sms tone, fell aslp again.. dreamt tt i was brushing teeth washing face getting ready to rise and shine.. suddenly woke up to find myself still in bed.. hur~ *gongz gongz* wore da main com singlet.. brought along my cap! yeah.. haha.. silly.. took the last bus to sentosa.. crapped along the way with irza zengwee and yh.. so fun suaning them! had shirlin to carry my 'expensive' pouch jus in case i get wet at sentosa.. since the ogs have to collect all the main com members' signature after guessing the senior secret qns.. we can make them do wateva we want before signing.. *evil grin* i made breazom sing the buggy cheer to edmund.. iria to have kevin do striptease on video in the water.. zireo to dunk zengwee 2 times.. another og i forgot which to dunk edmund.. muahahaha.. haiz, but of cos i got dunked by zireo after i signed theirs.. all thanks to our nanny zengwee.. *&*(^&%^&*%^* i had so much fun laughing at the cross dressing of the 'dress the bikini babe' game i almost choked on my own saliva... despite being swung into the water.. i had fun esp at nite.. teasing the sp couples.. taking photos with them w/o them knowing.. hee! then it was supper at fong seng with del yy coreen grace edmund zengwee kel yh.. by the time everything was over.. fell aslp instantly abt 2plus am..

240604 - IFG champs~! day3
had mark knocking on my door to wake me up at 7am.. answers the door.. closed the door.. pom.. fell back on the bed to slp.. startled up 15mins later.. rushed preparation then breakfast.. for the first time in history.. bizad won the Inter-fac games against science and engine fac!!! wow!! haha.. sth definitely worth cheering and remembering eh? 3 cheers to our coah gerald!! the mass dance later on was funny.. erm.. i mean enjoyable lar.. to have irza as my dance partner according to him was my fortune *bleahz*.. we kept catching glimpses at correen and gerald, adel and zengwee.. time to time shaking our heads.. *poor coreen and adel* haha.. kiddinz lar.. towards the end.. we went right to the back of the hall.. to take a look at the whole lot dancing.. so interesting.. we saw some couples switching over.. guys dancing the gers' part and the gers dancing the guys' part! hahaha.. then picking up of sps.. poor guys.. doing pole dancing.. singing love songs.. striping.. blabla.. just to pleasure the seniors before they get to pick up their gal.. hurhur.. buffet dinner at europa was the best ever throughout the camp hee.. the programmes were alrite.. funny seeing the freshmen kena teased.. the music afterwards cant really make it i must say.. not shiok ar.. oh ya how can i miss out our dear coach gerald's performance? 3 beer and 2 shots for 4hrs of entertainmentpole dancing inclusive!! harhar.. makes me wonder he got possessed in the day or at night?? a few freshies and councillors got high and wild.. hurm.. but turns out everything's fine lar.. *phew* went back to hall.. rested and gathered at rag side at 230am for cheer fight practice.. totally shagged.. barely rest for half hour!!! &*()^&%%^&#$&^&*(.. rite.. i must bitch about this freshmen.. kept complaining that we wont haf good feedback for this wake up at 330am and jog thingy.. shouldnt ask them to wake up after chionging.. like army like tt so stupid blablabla.. say wat if he get into mc he'll cut this tradition.. asshole.. i don think he'll haf the chance to get into the mc ever!!! u think we seniors don need to slp so fun wake up and practice then run with u all argh??? urgh.. *pui* finally after everything.. bathed and slept at 645am..

250604 - break camp day4
rise and don shine anymore 8am.. super nuaded at breakfast table in kr dining hall.. slowly sashayed to hss auditorium.. watched og performance.. laughed at silly freshies.. discussed winners for various prizes.. gave prizes.. tadah! break camp.. then take photos and take photos and take photos!!!! nice pretty fotos.. silly fotos.. scary fotos.. u name it.. we haf it!! ahhahahahaha take pictures and take pictures and take pictures.. woohoo!!!!!!!! then lunch.. then pack logistics.. then home sweet home to concuss!!!!

feel lost after this foc.. like worked hard for it then so fast end liao. now wake up oso dunno wat to do.. most importantly i miss the foc ppl! main com ppl and ppl like val weiherng larry bel weisheng... they're so fun to be with!! certainly hope to see them soon!! looking forward to da ktv and mambo session the coming wed!! *weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

mambo last night w da gals qian jasc yonghui was just there.. phuture was packed as usual.. zouk dance floor surprisingly not alot of ppl.. met quite a number of friends tho.. *hee* i din get high from the drinks.. got high when i saw edison chen at members' bar instead.. okie.. i'm suaku.. starstruck.. wateva.. i actually see edison!!! can you believe it?!?!??!! we were less than half a metre infront of him! thanks to joseph *harhar* he came telling me edison and louis koo inside members so he brought us in to see him.. then his friend(i donno e name) who supposedly knows edison pat on edison's shoulder, pointed to me and said i'm his friend *swoons* so yeah he said hi to me!!!!! i spoke to him!!!!!!!!! i almost went crazy then.. *wow*

well, life has certainly not been easy for me this past year.. and i appreciate your concern.. meanwhile i'm getting better i hope, with my things settled here and there.. what can i say man.. i'm still as lively and bubbly.. not forgetting loving to 'suan' you lar.. i just hate growing up.. realising there's more and more responsibilities, seeing more sides of people, or so-called widening my horizons? i've definitely changed, that's for sure but for the better or worse.. i'm still figuring it out.. *shrugs* though we hardly keep in contact ever since you enlist.. but i always tot the phone conversations once in a while were comforting for me to know you are still there.. listening to me.. by the way you seem to be alot alot alot others' 'consultant' eh? *keke* and yar.. i've been tied down with sch stuff.. foc and rag.. so i hardly find the time to meet up with friends(tho i do try to make it to mambo every wed since hols started).. even if i haf time i wanna slp first.. if not go out i tired oso not fun right.. yeah.. by the way u ord-ing soon and gg to ntu pian4 all the young pretty girls liao lo.. muahahahaha.. after my busy season and ur's.. go for dinner or sth k?

my uni friends all(okie almost all) says i'm chiongster.. i agree.. but only for the hols.. anyway i only club more often this hols.. last time only go sch bashes once in a while wat.. haiyoyo.. once sch start i will be nerd liao wor.. jus wanna enjoy now lar.. when i'm still able to.. just go with friends, dance to the music.. except hating the cigarrettes smoke, some guys who do things i dont like.. the rest i'm fine with.. not all ppl who chiong are bad ppl.. i'm so glad my parents understand.. come to think of it i've got alot of freedom eh.. my parents are fine with me gg club as long as i take care of myself.. even if i reach home in the weee hours from supper or ktv they oso don scold.. still ask me how come friends never come my place gamble mahjong play cards blablabla.. my mum even asks me on wed ans sat nights when i'm at home how come i never go out.. haiyo.. i'm happy with this lar.. can't imagine if they keep nagging at me giving me curfews and all.. i'll go crazy lor.. haha

right.. foc's coming soon soon! i'll be away in sch for 5 days! so fun.. never stay in hostel before.. except the slpovers @ waiying's last sem.. hurm.. but guess we'll all be worn out sia.. *hmmm*

from last night's ktv at paradiz's kbox with qian jasc jason daniar melvin to today's girls' medical checkup and foc logistics then dinner and shopping at bugis.. i'm almost dead.. slept for barely 3hrs only to wake up with an upset stomach.. urgh~ felt rather deprived tt i had to leave my computer 'growing dust' for a few days since i was busy with rag and foc stuff.. so here i am.. die die an entry before my foc camp next week..

oh.. on a happier note.. i bought a white top $19 from double index and a red op tshirt $19 from seiyu.. as u can see.. i keep side tracking from the list of things i wanna buy! argh.. saw this white jacket in converse tho... but still kiv lar.. tmr i shall go on my bikini hunt since i've all along wanted one.. hopefully the trip tmr will be fruitful wor.. no no.. MUST be fruitful.. cos i wun haf time to shop before foc le.. keke..

too tired for now to continue.. wil be back.. there's so many things i wanna say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

meanwhile.. *weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* iGnIte tHE biZaD sPiRiT!!!

watched the best bet at jubilee this evening.. i jus lurve those rhyming hokkien conversations.. hee.. the movie was alrite lar.. the interesting dialouge really amuses me.. muahahahaha..

took a cab home after 10pm.. i've never met such a young and considerate(not to mention good-looking) driver.. the moment i buckled my seat belt, he asked if the aircon temperature was alright for me.. if too warm or cold just tell him he can adjust it.. then barely 3 mins later he asked if the radio station was to my preference.. *wow* he switched from 933fm to power 98 tho i mentioned i was fine with it.. then i called puiee.. he kindly turned the radio off for me to use the phone.. after i ended my conversation on the phone, he told me he took the longer route after asking me usually which way i go by.. he apologised saying he just started driving taxi for 2 weeks.. tho the fare was $14 on his meter.. he insisted on me paying the usual fare which was $11.. *amazed* he stil told me to be careful on my way up.. saw me walk to my block then drove away.. this is like so so rare isn't it? har.. what can i say? damn.. forgot to ask for his name.. *winkz*


You are going to Marry orlando Bloom. He will
always treat you right and is very romantic. He
will do anything for you. He is very polite and
has deep brown eyes and is very good looking
(which is another plus!). He can make anything
cheesy look really hot(like sliding down stairs
on a shield shooting arrows or wearing pointy
ears for example). Congrats!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

happie birthday puiee~~~~!!!!!!!

i had a gggRRRrrreEeeeEaaaAaaAAAttt time with pui nel qian yongling! went to sing at orchard party world.. then shopped abit before proceeding to glass house's fish and co for dinner.. i actually finished a whole seafood platter for 1 alone! wow.. must be pms.. hee.. the complementary ice cream brownie for pui da bday ger taste so good! yummy.. i swear i could have at least 5 of them at one go! *yumyum*

i must say i really enjoyed taking photos with the gals! snapping away with their digicams, making silly faces.. acting cute and blur.. harhar.. it was fun fun and fun! hee.. shall go buy my bikini soon.. i wanna bathe in da sun... sentosa.. here i come! *woooooooooooooooooooooooo* oh yes... i badly so so so so badly wanna shop!!!!!!!!! so many things on my desire list.. argh... *roll abt*

looking forward to my harry potter movie with huiting qunen yekai at shaw plaza on thursday!! muahahahah.. i surely cant miss this yearly routine! *grinz*

happie birthday to valerie~!

just checked my sch account email.. the arts canteen's gg to change tender.. i wonder if the food wil be as tasty..

i've said things i regretted.. i've done things i shouldn't.. i've even lost part of my memories.. i did not heed the signal of my red red gg to be infected left eye..
i felt utterly terrible the next day.. my stomach almost left my body.. my system almost stopped functioning.. i've never felt so terrible..
to look on the bright side, there's always a first time.. to be frank however.. i'm just a bitch.. the metamorphosis is appalling.. overwhelming.. i'd better discontinue with all these nonsense.. i really don't know what got into me.. perhaps it's the little things that i held on to too tightly.. you know smtimes when there's no avenue to ventilate the accumulated frustrations..and then there's this thing abt you know ur frens' negative reactions when u tell them abt it.. in my view there's no point in voicing out anything anymore..why spoil the mood and feel worse in trying to figure a way out with stubborn ppl? why bother to approach someone knowing u'll be slapped right in the face?
the obviously-got-comments(harsh ones too) 'no comments' doesn't help at all.. we all know giving comments is easy, ultimately being in the situation yourself is totally different.. not to mention we work around our own principles..
i'm beginning to wonder maybe i can comprehend what one of my friends went through then.. it's definitely a terrible feeling.. stressful too.. cos u can't speak of the situatio freely to them.. only it's tougher for her.. at least my family's fine with the situation over the span of half a year.. i'm happy, as long as the friends' part is shut off.. maybe that's y she did it then..
i'm appreciative tho.. tt i have friends who are concerned.. tho along the way unhappy things happended.. saying so many sorry oso no use since wat is done is done.. but still thanks alot for the thought and offer.. for the sms-es and calls to check if i'm okie.. for the follow up that hit me rather hard.. for the multiple 'am i feeling better' msgs.. really.. *sooompa*
I AM SO APOLOGETIC TO THE GALS.. PAISEH.. DONNO WAT ELSE TO SAY LE LA..
i may sound like a spoilt brat, self-centered bitch ranting abt the happenings.. but i thought tis may well be the only way i let my emotions run.. words and actions contradict at times.. this is my blog.. my way of releasing the raging emotional particles inside me where i cant do it well otherwise.. stop asking me what happened and who i am talking about or other related qns.. pls wake up ur idea lar.. if i want it or he or she to be known i'd have done so now..

on a lighter note.. i'm looking ofrward to the harry potter trip w my cousins next week.. a yearly routine! *hee*

oh yea, met up with liling nellie qianyu yongling jasc yest.. had dinner at kfc then yak and talk all the way.. it was nice sitting around and catching up with one another.. shall go on a sentosa trip soon yeah!


Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
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hey! click on the link on da left (take my friend test) yar?? jus a little sth.. hee.. quite fun go try go try!!! *weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

ntu release of results today..

congrats to simon tho he thinks his results not tt good but i tot it's not bad wor..
congrats to siva too! *winkz*
to other friends.. now hols.. can work and play like crazy lar.. when the next sem starts.. we must b nerd liao wor.. jiayou jiayou okie! dun think too much now le! hee.. *hugz*
for now.. look forward to ur upcoming foc camps eh? and of cos look forward to seeing me? *silly grinz*

man survived the last ice age.. we can survive this one.. and the next, and the next.. only if we learn from our mistakes..
watched day after tmr at jurong theatre.. rather scary in the sense tt makes us really wonder when is the next ice age coming.. natural diasters are so so so devastating.. hurm.. made me interested in knowing more about hurricanes tho.. hur.. some conversations were witty and funny.. esp the part where they were arguing which books to burn and which books to not burn to keep themselves warm.. when another guy informed them there's a whole shelves of tax law books to burn.. *haha*
after the movie went to coffeeshop for teh peng.. met huat and gang there, drinking beer and smoking and chitchatting.. they left earlier.. we left around 11.30pm.. simpe and enjoyable night.. thanks matt..

it was a funfilled day at changi naval base open house.. at the same time tiring helping out at the games booth for the whole day..

for the first time in weeks.. perhaps even months.. i woke up at 5am on saturday morning.. prepared my stuff to bring and eventually dragged my heavy legs outta house at 6am.. i managed to catch the first bus at 6.03am!! *weeeeeeee* unfortunately the bus crawled.. now i wonder if i'd have reached the interchange faster by foot.. haiz.. anyway i was glad to hav boarded the train and slept all the way to bedok station.. was stoning on the way walking to bedok mac.. i din even hear yingyin calling me from behind.. hur~ *gongz gongz*

so.. happily chit chatted w the gang on our way to the naval base after which we were divided into various groups.. so me wendy coreen were i/cs for the outdoor games gladiator and sumo wrestling.. my my.. before 12pm there aren't many visitors since the open house was open to public only after 12.. we were basically wearing the event's company's super duper oversized tshirts, roasting ourselves under the scorching sun.. before long.. the exposed parts of our body were red.. hated myself for not bringing along a cap.. at least to protect my face.. argh.. *bang my head on wall*

while we were rotting and meanwhile getting to know one another better.. yihui called! she has graduated w diploma in busines administration.. got herself a job at KEA as a marketing assistant.. she don wan me to tell my parents first.. wait til she start work and settled down in the environment then let others know.. hee.. well, happie for her!!! *smilez* jus when i hung up w her, there's this army truck driving past our station.. i was standing near the entrance facing the truck.. then this guy popped his head outta window and said hi.. harhar.. i tot it was a rather idiotic action.. but oh well, i returned the greeting, since there's nothing better to do anyway.. hur~

later on in the day i was asked to help the rodeo bull station.. i learnt how to control the bull manually leh!! *woohoo* got to know 2 friends who are i/cs for the station as well.. andy and guowei.. they taught me how to control the spinning speed and buck speed of the bull.. it's interesting and i must say suitable for sadistic ppl like me.. guowei said just make them fall.. *evil laughter* and so i did, happily! along the way met some interesting children, students, teens, parents and etc who chatted with me.. at least made my day not so boring wor.. it was fun suaning crapping and yakking away w my new friends and some of the perm staff of the events company who came over to help, slack wateva.. *shrugs*

i din eat much for lunch so by the time we can go home, i'm starving.. plus my back is aching due to the long hours of standing, carrying children blablabla.. i was roasted, tired, stinking like shit, in pain cos of blisters on my feet.. we intended to take the shuttle svs to expo then take train back home.. but the queue is like dunno how many miles long we couldn't even see the starting point.. plus many ppl are cutting queue.. some of the guys tried calling for cab but there are actually no cab available!!!! *shocked* can you believe it.. NO cab available.. haiz.. tt place is so darn ulu no cabs want to come in.. eventually jac's mum fetched us to tanah merah ferry terminal.. me adel coreen took cab to raffles place (coreen's having dinner there) then me adel took train home.. is the day eventful or wat.. *heehee*

totally worn out from the day's activities.. i concussed soon after i reached home.. only to be constantly awaken by the calls from i cant remember who.. i don shut off my hp cos i think it's safer jus in case there's any emergency calls.. so i kept answering them but i guessed i must haf sounded super pissed off with my gosh!-i'm-sleepin-can-u-dun-bother-me-if-not-i'll-kill-u 'hello', so no one managed to make me listen or even remember who they are.. *hur hur*

a little pinch of regret.. i din get on to the ships and took a ride, take a look at the interior.. well.. there'll b a next time eh?

barely 3 more days to the end of may.. and my sms usage's way beyond the limit of 700.. means my bill's enuff to make me bankrupt.. since i don't have much to start with..o_O

singapore's mid year sale has started but i wont b able to benefit much from it cos i'm broke.. at least for now.. -_-"

"Hong Chuanhui! Hong Chuanhui! Such a nice name i always remember..." adapted from a msg i received from my pr1 friend huifen thru friendster.. yes.. friendster's kokked up now and then.. but it still works wonders at times for me.. *winkz* the feeling of meeting old friends online then meet up and catch up on wat's gg on in one another's life is simply amazing.. reminds me of how my life was like then.. *hee*
to be frank, my p1 to p4 memories were pretty vague.. until msgs come flowing in.. the names.. like yuyan yuhua rex raineer yaowei started popping out one by one.. hope to find them all.. not too ambitious rite.. haha.. then perhaps gather.. i guess it'll b great fun bar.. *hehe*

freaking incident
i was on bus 143 gg to je interchange around 830pm.. the bus stopped at a junction beside the tree before turning right to the interchange.. i was looking out of da window..
I FREAKING SAW A MAN WALKING INTO THE TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i sms jasc immediately.. the whole thing happened so damn fast lor..
the first tot was reflection from the bus window tt makes it like tt? proven wrong when i turn to see no roughly age 60 man on da bus..
second tot was the man walked round the tree to the other side but parallex error so look like walking into it? proven wrong when there are fences at both sides of the tree and the tree's not tt big for me to not see the man walk over the other side..
conclusion.. i don even know whether it's a man tt i saw.. *shudders*
i hate to be reminded of this.. it's darn FREAKING to me.. i swear i won't look out to tt bloody tree ever.. i do not want to be near it even if possible.. don't ask me to show you which tree or which junction wateva.. *hair stands*

gotta wake up super duper EARLY tmr.. cos need to reach Bedok at bloody 7am! *pulls hair*
i know i'm whiny but i jus cant help it.. such a pig like me needs sleep.. lots of them.. guess i'll be like a walking zombie tmr.. perhaps seeing familiar faces coming for the carnival will be great! *hopeful*
rite now.. i'll go zzzzzing...

man are apt to offend.. where they find most goodness to forgive.. to err is human; to forgive, divine.. i'm but human..
true, like all said, definitely aint a deliberate act whatsoeva.. it's the repetition i hate.. dodobird knows it best mayb?
heeded gaozi's advice, tried sorting out the root prob of recurrence.. if only she listens.. if only she'll put down her i'm-ur-mother-so-i-noe-best attitude to TALK and LISTEN to me..
but i won't give up yet..
sometimes i think it's a pity my parents arent actors..

Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue..
preservation of patience can only be for so long..
quarrels sparked off when anguish was too much to bear..
thoughts of 'i ought to be cherished this and that way by so-and-so' triumphed with egotistical approach..
break-ups sometimes occur when intolerance replaced acceptance and forgiveness..
perfect love is rare indeed..for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain..
if i seek perfection in love where evidently it isn't viable ever, i'd most probably remain a spinster..
but no harm for some who chose to perceive as reaching for the stars and fall on the clouds..
most of us agrees that we're never lonely, there's someone who dreams of our smile,
and finds in our presence that life is worth while..
but we are never satisfied aren't we?
for we do not consider those whom we don't know, neglect, overlooked or even detest as 'someone'..
anyhow.. don't allow defeats to cast shadows on imminent dreams..
minor despairs tt disguise as virtues like it or not.. carries us a long way..

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... i am fuming..
my black BUM top, yellow doggy tshirt and saints tshirt tt i've worn only once got spoilt during wash..
this is for dunno how many fuck times my clothes are spoilt..
so u noe y i owas wear the same few tops..
i meant to wash them myself.. but cant find them, so i panicked..
found them in one of the pails my mum washes the clothes..
i was too late to save them from discoloring..
FUCK.. i am not calling home and not coming home..
call me childish and irresponsible..
i don't give fucking care
those who know what it's always like should understand..
sth wrong with the fucking pails and detergent? i think it's more like the fucking problem with my mum..
asked her what happened and she just fucking shrugs..
not even a fucking sorry said..
so she's fucking glad to see my clothes getting spoilt then i have to buy again lar? then she'll say i anyhow spend money and refuse to give me allowance?
or i have to spent my own savings or salary then she will complain i owas buy my own stuff and never care about family?
i fucking don't give a shite anymore about this family..
if not for my sister you fucking think i'll be here smiling huh, mum?
what the fuck.. sorrie abt my usage of the word..
i wish i can be gone for good..